And since hubs told me a weasel was breaking into the house at 2 AM I’ve only slept long enough to dream that all our male friends were trying to fix our house as I went “OH DEAR GOD WHY?”
So this should be epic…
I just screamed “FUCK, IT’S REAL. IT’S LIVE” at 5 am.
Goddamn, I love Halsey.
Full disclosure. I just watched the whole video through once and… goddamn. Oh, guys. It’s so beautiful. I love everything about it.
Back to it.
I love that the theater is called “Persona.” Like, that legit makes me smile. And the shoulder moves here? They’re just so smooth.
It is legit too early for this.
Orange hair Jimin saying he’s curious about everything to open the song is not fair. And launched a thousand RPF insert reader fanfictions.
I mean, I fell down a rabbit hole there for a second and I’m in my mid-thirties.
There was a blush. I covered my mouth. Then there were oodles of giggles just bubbling out.
We were blessed by this precious little mochi.
AND BUNNY KOOKIE?
(And J-Hope doing who cares what. He exists on camera and that’s enough for me.)
The moment Kook remembers he’s supposed to be serious.
Me: I’ve adopted V as my little brother
V: He’s me poking my tongue into the side of my cheek.
Me: ISN’T HAVING NO BROTHERS GREAT?
(Also known as: I just cannot with him, but I love it.)
I love that they let my alien angel smoosh babe embrace his vibe and just go with it. He wants blue hair, contacts, a pearl earring, and a flower statement ring while bopping like liquid? Aces.
There is so much V tongue in this video it deserves a mention in the credits.
I love that Mr. Worldwide handsome, owner of the most symmetrical face, stratospheric dork and notorious Mario stan has the softest voice of the group.
It’s hard to remember he tells dad jokes when he goes all suave and shit.
Lemme just change my header real quick.
Kookie gets his moment and while he looks like something straight from the 80s I AM HERE FOR IT.
I woke the cat up because I had to share that comment.
She’s… not exhibiting the level of enthusiasm I wanted… but I didn’t get cut.
The way J-Hope and Jimin move.
I don’t know how the outfits and choreo manage to capture this feeling of first love and young love and just this sweet perfect and pure feeling, but it does. I know you don’t believe me (unless your ARMY) but it does.
Watch it. Really watch it. And it’s like “OH, THIS IS A TEEN ROMANCE FROM THE FIFTIES. COOL.”
It’s so playful and wonderful.
And right before this, you could see Jimin’s abs. I refuse to listen to anyone say he’s not as jacked as when he debuted because boy can still get it.
Suga and RM are not in their comfort zones.
There’s my Suga smirk.
Okay, so I grabbed this for Jimin doing a flying motion with his hand… but I want to know about the fork.
It’s Jin. I watched ahead and it’s Jin. But why? Is he eating? There isn’t really food in this restaurant, Jin. It’s just a set.
Is he gonna eat Suga?
And look! V clearly knows and is like “this will be hilarious, watch.”
My little agent of chaos. Love him.
This one-shot encapsulates all three of their playful sides. Jimin is sunshine, Jin is a dork, and RM is more sly about it… but still a dork.
Okay A, I am never prepared for blue-haired V. B, I love this choreography.
C, Bris just uploaded his video and I am not even half done… I gotta speed this up.
What kind of life is BTS leading where couches just drop from the sky?
I am baby ripping paper happy.
What did they do to his voice?
I should’ve called in today. To stay with this scene. Wait, I’ve gotta get this outta my system…
Okay, I’ve got that out of my system (for) now.
It looks like Kookie is judging him so hard here.
At this point, if J-Hope doesn’t flex I feel cheated.
Baby happy over this “oh no”
Also, headline, is Jimin a secret sex-pot?
Sources close to the star (this video) say yes…
News at eleven.
I see you Jimin.
(The dog moved and I thought it was the weasel my husband saw in the walls and jumped out of my chair…)
The painted background, how bouncy our boys are, this video is pure art.
I’m gonna print this one out and keep it forever.
No wait, this one. Finger hearts as he says he’s gonna keep me safe.
NEVER PREPARED FOR V.
Oh, fuck me.
I live for stolen RM moments.
OH MY GOD… LOOK AT THIS… I was gonna say background here, but really look at Jin and Suga. Because this screams “I don’t know what you guys are doing but it looks like a lot of work…”
Also, the painted background. Someone paint me this. I will pay.
I FORGOT HALSEY.
Which is usually not possible. Because she’s, like, the one person besides me my husband finds attractive. When this was announced I was like “your girlfriend is making a video with my boyfriends”
but really, my girlfriend, my boyfriends. I’m greedy.
You know what, this conversation can wait because: HALSEY AND BTS.
J-Hope in front of this background, though…
This is why my daughter is Jin biased…
I’m singing in the rain…
No idea who I am more jealous of here.
That’s a lie. It’s the couch. Hanging with these eight without the possibility of embarrassing yourself.
Honestly, me though…
Went back to capture Jimin holding his belt buckle (for my news report at eleven) and noticed J-Hope and Suga.
I legit choked on my own spit.
Halsey got to dance with BTS. BTS got to dance with Halsey. I am. I am…
I need three hundred lomo cards from this video…
Look at this moment. It’s so pure and I need it. On a bedspread.
Tag yourself… I’m Jungkook.
Also, WE HAVEN’T HAD OUR RM MOMENT YET?
Jesus… this video keeps on giving.
RM in white is now my bias.
Suga does not look impressed.
The old-school musical vibes are strong with this one.
And then Jin throws a rose and runs for RM because fanservice and also this is why people think you’re together.
(V is still the only one who can act worth beans.)
I wish this wasn’t blurry because I love it. All of them seem so awkward except for the huge fangirl in the center.
I don’t just kind of get it. I really get it. All of it.
RM IN WHITE. BIAS WRECKED.
Jimin in all black. Suga in sequins. V IN A FUCKING FEATHER BOA.
V is so bold and brave and beautiful and I want to smoosh him.
There was more dancing I couldn’t capture, and then… RM being a fucking boss showing off his crew. Heist movie, please.
Gods, I love it.
Then finally, the boys ALL FACING BACKWARDS, INCLUDING JIMIN and we’re done. We’ve come back.
Now I’ve gotta go watch Bris.
Boy With Luv by BTS
Released: April 12, 2019
Album: Map of the Soul: Persona
Notes: baby tearing paper happy.
Watched Status: Watched once all the way through and then caps forever
Bias: Suga on the piano, big style.
Reason: HE’S A GOD
Favorite BTS video to date: How could it not be this one?
Join me next week when we break down Love Shot by EXO.