Totally Legit Internet History: A Dire Prediction

I know that I’ve spent the first part of the week writing wacky fake internet news, and that by now you’re probably expecting today’s post to be about Friday the 13th in some way. And it is. But instead of a fake news item referencing the iconic horror series, instead I bring to you a dire prediction.

In 2017, for the first time in eleven years, there will be a Friday the 13th in October. “Wow, that’s cool” I can hear you all saying… but I don’t think you understand. There are dumb people on the internet. People who ask when the 4th of July is this year. People who think America’s birthday is on New Years and that our country will be turning 2016 this January first. PEOPLE WHO THINK THE NFL IS OLDER THAN THE COUNTRY BECAUSE WE’VE HAD MORE SUPERBOWL THAN PRESIDENTS.

You know what these people are going to tweet in October of 2017?

Do you?

“Wow, it’s so cool that Friday the 13th and Halloween are on the same day this year”

In fact, I’m not 100% sure that the day formerly known as October 14th, 2017 won’t end up becoming November 1st, 2017 simply because of how many people believe it to be true. This, of course, will lead to:

Mark my words, people. The end is nigh. Stupid is coming.

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