One of my very best friends who I love all the way to the moon and back has been writing some pretty epic sonnets lately. With her permission, I share them with you.
Because I love you as much as she loves sonnets.
Is Shakespeare a fuckboy? Or #byefelipe
Fine, bitch! You’re not that pretty anyway
I bet your exes think you’re fill of shit
You would have been lucky to be my bae
But you look like a dog, I must admit.
You’re so stuck up, so into your own looks
And you’re a slut, who’d want to be with you?
I bet you only date huge jerks and crooks
Plus you’re too fat. Your first word – was it “moo”?
I know you’re ugly too without that paint
You plaster on your face both day and night
I’m pulling punches, showing great restraint
You want me now? Bitch, I’m not your white knight.
Lose my number. Don’t text me once more.
I never even liked you, fucking whore.