Previously on Fangirl Follow Along we watched a different version of No More Dream. The Danciest Version. We discussed the merits of Jimin’s abs, I discovered I missed the demon bus and learned that someone hates JHope enough to fit him with a mask. Also, side note, I became a Jimin stan and now feel bad for pointing out his abs because what if he stressed himself out trying to maintain those abs and risked his health and…
Sorry, it’s the Christmas season and that always triggers my anxiety. And my depression, to be perfectly honest. But it’s okay because today we have a special Christmas sketch.
Well, technically in two weeks we’re supposed to have the Christmas special, chronologically… but I wasn’t able to work from home today despite the shitty weather because I have to “keep an eye” on my two male co-workers, I’m sick, and I still have all the present wrapping to do so…
IT’S CHRISTMAS SPECIAL TIME!
Let’s watch as Jo Kwon of 2AM, Lim Jeong-hee, Jo Hee of 8eight, RM and Jungkook celebrate the season, shall we?
Ah, BigHit logo. The Pavlovian bell to my fangirl fanaticism. Leading us directly into…
Our baby Jungkookie (wearing a Weasley sweater) is decorating the tree while sporting his trademark bunny smile. I still don’t think our world is good enough for this perfect smoosh angel.
That is not the ornament you just put on the tree and you’re overloading that section. You are three hundred percent my child and I’m going to have to wait until you go to sleep to fix our lopsided monstrosity… but it’s okay because you’re young and the electronic strains of mid-nineties boy band music just started up.
He’s putting a star on the (four foot tall) tree. I might die from how sweet and pure and innocent this is. I mean, just look at this:
I know this isn’t a fair comparison since Koreans don’t use Roman characters normally, but look at that handwriting. He’s a baby. A baby bunny. A bun-bun baby.
Can you tell the difference? I can’t…
Wait… is he gonna… is he gonna send this perfect Christmas letter to Santa? Where is my fangirling gif?
There we go. This is me right now.
Singing has finally begun. Note the lip gloss, tousled hair, and trite lyrics. (I paused right after “Christmastime is here.”)
I take everything back. I might die from how pure and sweet he is. Who cares about the lyrics. He’s so pumped for Christmas and I’m crying. I just…
Me. I feel like from now on the entire post will be me posting a screen cap and then a gif.
I just need a minute, okay?
Demon bus. Found my center. We’re good to continue.
His friends show up and everything I pause it’s blurry… Probably because RM is just being as bizarre as possible.
But Kookie don’t care because he’s got his old school video camera (that was not there when writing to Santa, hand to god.)
Oh look, it totally was. Bet you can’t tell I’m agnostic…
RM looks surprised. Probably by Kookie having an ancient camera. Jo Kwon looks adorbs. But I still haven’t forgiven him for Animal. I know you’re wondering why, but don’t worry. We’ll cover that later.
Don’t fucking rush me, JHope
“How can you be so perfect?”
Jo Kwon, I mean it. No being adorable. I’m still upset and I am not ready to forgive you. Give me time to–
It’s not my fault. He winked. And I couldn’t catch it because every time I blush when he winks. I’m weak. I’M SO FUCKING WEAK.
Jungkook = 100% chill
RM = I don’t know what to do with my body. Why am I here?
Also, note that Jungkook has reinforced knees in his jeans. I have a theory about Korean pants that will play out in later videos. (They don’t come equipped with knees standard. That’s the theory. Spoiler alert.)
He’s praying I make it through the video. Because with this cold my heart just might give out…
Seriously, RM, why are you like this?
RM: WHAT ARE LIMBS? AM I DOING IT RIGHT?
There’s the “badass” I know and love.
And we’re back to alien not understanding how a human body works. Swell… ing of my brain.
RM: Do we eat this? Do we worship this? I’m not sure, it’s my first time here…
Stupid boy making me stupid feel stupid things…
I don’t think Jungkook has feet, but instead has Timberlands permanently attached to the end of his legs. HE DOES DANCE PRACTICE IN THEM. I’VE SEEN IT. IT’S NOT HUMAN.
I feel personally attacked.
Can I adopt him?
I don’t know who insisted RM be a part of this but thank you. Because he’s awkward and wonderful.
How very dare. HOW VERY DARE. When I see someone recording a video at this angle my brain goes to one place (porn) and Kookie is too pure. Too sweet. Too adorable. Too fucking sixteen when this video was made.
I am being attacked.
He was recording his Perfect Christmas letter?
See, I told you he was too pure.
Jo Kwon and Kookie saying “I love you” causes me to feel very different feelings. I’ll allow you to extrapolate what they are. (Adoration by Kookie and attacked by Jo Kwon. I’m bad at allowing you to infer.)
OH MY GOD, THIS IS WHY RM IS HERE. HE HAS A RAP VERSE. IN A CHRISTMAS SONG. I AM DEAD.
(That’s Kookie, who I adopted, eating a cookie in the background while I fangirl over his hyung*)
Look. Look at him. He knows how all his limbs work again. He’s like an ugly duckling that becomes a beautiful swan. LOOK!
I’m being attacked. Again. This video is a targeted assault on all my sensibilities.
A shaved side of the head with longer hair on top, dimples, brown eyes, and freakishly long fingers… He’s my husband when we started dating. This is war, BigHit.
RM is laughing and I’m blushing. I hate this video.
(I love this video)
Jungkook is recording a stuffed Santa. How am I supposed to handle this? How will I survive another minute and ten seconds? I’ll at least have whiplash from the quick shifts between naughty and nice…
I need an adult…
Oh thank god, he’s back to being awkward. I wouldn’t have survived much more.
Serious question… how is his skin so flawless?
RM: Is this how humans dance? Am I doing it right?
Note: From here to the end, the video turned the adorbs up to eleven.
I don’t even know how to process how adorable he is. How is it possible to be this much of a sweetpea angelsmooshbaby? And he’s so talented.
Just… well this is why you don’t give bunnies pencils.
Everyone laughing and happy.
And we made it. We did it. We survived a Christmas song from KPoplandia.
I’m proud of you all. So proud that I have a special treat planned for you tomorrow.
Perfect Christmas – Special Sketch by Jo Kwon of 2AM, Lim Jeong-hee, Jo Hee of 8eight, RM and Jungkook
Released: December 20th, 2013
Notes: special sketch released by BigHit
Watched Status: Previously unwatched
Bias: Jo Kwon
Reason: I don’t want to talk about it.
Fave video to date: Perfect Christmas. I have no shame.
Look! It’s everyone’s favorite sub-feature. This week we only have one entry once again.
Hyung: A term of respect and endearment. Guys call older guys hyung and older gals noona. Gals call older guys oppa and older girls noona. I’ve been trying to get my friends to call me noona with no luck so far. Maybe you will? Prease?(back)
Or, since it’s the Christmas season, you can buy me a present.