I am home alone and what better way to spend that time than watching BTS?

Welcome once again to Fangirl Follow Along. Last week we watched “We Are Bulletproof Pt2,” and had a long talk with their father about their delinquency. Today, we discover any two-year-old’s favorite word. N.O

No second period.

I might not survive.

Pray for me.

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Big Hit logo and I’m not going to tell the same tired Pavlovian story because…

I am already in love with this video. White SciFi aesthetic with an Equilibrium, mind control, brick in the wall feel to it. I am here for all of this. And they have this whole “we’ve been brainwashed and all our hair looks Vulcan” vibe going on, making it sort of hard for me to tell who is who.

Allow me to challenge myself here:

Left to Right: Suga, RM, Jungkook.

V (and oh my god it’s so adorable their little uniforms have the BTS logo on them!!)

Tool of The Man.

Either The Man himself or his head tool. Yes, I am giggling.

Jungkook with a shimmery lipstick making his lips look chapped as fuck. (I searched for my chapstick before I realized this was a video from four years ago.)

Kim “motherfucking even brainwashed I’m worldwide handsome” Seokjin. I can see why he’s labeled a visual*

Brainwashed RM gives me chills and I now understand why people wrote fanfiction of him as a serial killer.

Will you look at the Cupid’s Bow lips on JHope? I can almost forgive them for makeuping away his cheekbones.

(I’m lying, I can’t forgive that.)

Okay a) we haven’t had a closeup of Jimin yet and b) no good can come from this.

Suga is always pretty.

PILLS! YOU’RE GIVING MY BABIES PILLS? *bristle* I can’t wait for you to get yours…

Sad V makes me so sad it took me four tries to get this screencap. I just kept feeling too much to successfully hit pause before it switched to brainwashed Jimin.

Finally! Brainwashed mind controlled Jimin. And oh god… the way it’s paused makes it look like he’s about to cry and I’m a Jimin stan now. You cannot do this to me.

I growled before quoting Shrek.

That’s the one.

Ah. Good. A Red pill. Not only does it look ominous, it reminds me of the MRA group founded by some asshat in New Hampshire I’m “not allowed” to go visit. My anger is incandescent.

Have I ever mentioned that I feel very strongly about fictional tales? I mean, you may have been able to tell from me taking sixty plus screencaps of a music video, but maybe you wrote that off as a BTS fangirl thing. It’s not. I cry every time Ron sacrifices himself in Wizard’s Chest. When Grandpa Santa stays with Evie. When Grunkle Stan loses his memories. Every time. Tears. It’s awful. Because I feel too many feelings about fictional characters.

And right now, I’m screaming “DON’T TAKE THE PILLS!”

“SPIT IT OUT!” And yes, I am prepared to wrestle this out of their mouths as if they were a dog that just ate chocolate.

Do you see what happens when I don’t?

Wait, that wasn’t blood vessels but was instead the decoration in the room you’re performing in. For some reason. How do these two worlds connect?

Oh my. That outfit. And… that’s not how you wear brass knuckles if you want them to spell out something on the face of the person you’ve punched. Not that I’d… You know what? Never mind.

But seriously, how does the red room (thanks for ruining that phrase for me, fifty shades) connect to this world? They took their pills

Their back to silent and obedient.

There’s a close up of the BTS logo in case you missed it earlier.

Then back to the red room which is actually *GASP*

A white room with red lighting? All this time? I feel lied to. Betrayed. Wait, their clothing changed. Maybe it was red cloth before. Only time will tell.

More bling. And seriously, DOPE being the wrong way is really going to bother me.

Well if that’s not ominous.

They snap to attention, The Man’s Head Tool gestures with his stick, There’s another red trip, and finally:

…flat out laughter because oh my god what is he wearing?

…err… Singing. I meant singing.

Seriously. Nothing good. Can come. From this.

I take it back. Everything has meaning if it gave us Suga in… is that a white fur coat? There is a God and he loves me. And KPop.

Even if it means they have to do calculus on touchpad desks.

I don’t know if they keep saying this or if it just takes a hella long time to say it in Korean…

Okay, creepier than brainwashed Jungkook is rapping brainwashed Jungkook. Please god, let them make the connection soon between the two rooms.

Oh. Okay. That’s the connection. They only have school, home, and PC room. Which. Um. What? What’s a PC room?

Yeah, okay, thanks, smartass.

(Please do not note that I am the only one taking screencaps here.)

Hold on for two in a row.

My god, even with absurd expressions Suga is beautiful. His skin is flawless and he’s just fucking pretty. And he’s such a lyrical monster. It’s. I cannot. I don’t even. He’s too. Damn it.

Oh fuck, Jungkook looked to the side. Shit’s about to get real.

Oh shit. I was just kidding. But it seems that shit is getting real. Like, for real.

Jungkook is feeling things.

Rage things.

I love the how literal they’re taking things right now. Literally. I literally love how literal they are.

I paused here because V singing is higher than I’m used to and I needed a moment and then I noticed he had a mesh shirt on and I need an additional moment.

See? Angel confirmed. (The “Faith” necklace.)

Back in the room, their anger is increasing. And I cannot blame them. Anyone who tells them that high school is the only hard time is *sings* lying.

Jin is limbering up. I would run if I were them…

I’m with them on…

Oh, I get it. Say no. And the song is named N.O

Clever.

Don’t look to me for help. I am not on your side. And while you might be starting to feel nervous you are not nearly nervous enough.

He got up. You should run. I’ve seen movies before and this does not turn out well for you.

Don’t do it. And not just because if you do I will go Liam Neeson on your ass.

As the literal choreography continues I still adore V’s voice. And also, he’s wearing gold shoes.

And here we go. Violence against The Man and his minions.

Wait, they let you wear your gold Nikes in brainwash 101?

V is kicking over his desk without golden shoes. And yes, I am paying a lot of attention to shoes because I am practically going frame by frame here. Not slow enough, though, since I wasn’t able to get a non-blurry picture.

Suga has thrown his desk. V is still recovering from the kick. Jungkook is pushing and not being surrounded because these guards are bad at their job. Jimin, Jin, and JHope all appear to be in the process of standing.

And RM. RM is standing and still looks like a serial killer. Even more so. They should really flee. Before they ruin the backs of their pants.

Oh shit. Jimin hit that fucker with a chair.

JHope is throwing a book.

V has full on lost his shit and is going to town. Reminds me of the time I read that V was the one you really had to watch out for.

HE JUST FUCKING CRANE KICKED THE GUY WITH THE RIOT SHIELD. Beware of this man. Never anger angels.

And also, there was a body roll but I’m not rewarding underage seduction anymore.

If he pops wings and pulls out a sword I will not be surprised.

Oh shit. I warned you. Heavenly powers incoming.

There’s a shockwave when this hits the ground and I wouldn’t have cared except that it’s important because as soon as that happens:

oh shit.

The guards are knocked out and I want to believe that they live happily ever after, but there are two minutes left in the video.

*squee* it’s the JHope verse.

I never noticed how long his fingers were.

V. For Vicious.

So whole in the wall, The Man’s Head Tool, and they’re leaving victorious. I’ve taken sixty-nine *giggle* screenshots so clearly, we’re done.

*checks time*

Or not.

…jfc…

I have questions.

I want this on a poster.

I just…

really love the aesthetics of this video.

AMG look at Suga (second from left). No, wait, Jin (third from left). No… JHope (far right).

Holy fuck.

They’re trying to kill me.

Attacked. I am being attacked.

It’s cruel and unusal.

Alright, now I’m confused again.

There’s more dancing. In front of the hands in two different outfits, back in the white room with V in the mesh shirt. Everyone gets solo shots before:

OH NO! The Man’s tools showed back up. Are they going to fight? Will it be dance fighting? Please let it be dance fighting.

Fuck yes.

I live for this shit.

Except:

Our bulletproof boy scouts lose. And I am filled with anxiety. Like, literal chest tight anxiety. I do not like this. I do not like this at all.

Only Jimin is left.

But when they turn to capture him the other boys get away, running to his aid and shielding him. (Along with the branding that ruins the rest of my screencaps.) Kookie growls and…

…Jimin fucking leaps in the air.

Does one last crazy flip.

And the force of it knocks the bad guys out.

And with one last “everybody say no” they pose and the video ends.

So there you have it. N.O all wrapped up. A video that tells a story, sort of. That matches the lyrics. Kind of. And has an epic dance fight scene in front of giant hands once the boys walk down a stairway from heaven with violins playing. And aside from the anxiety that brainwashed boy scouts instill in me, I love every second of it.

So much that I’m going to give you two bonus videos tomorrow. Well, that and they were already on the schedule. But let’s pretend it’s special, okay?

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N.O by BTS
Released: September 9th, 2013
Album: O!RUL8,2?
Length: 4:02
Notes: where is the second period?
Watched Status: Previously unwatched
Bias: V
Reason: i’m a little afraid that if I don’t pick him he’ll hurt me. (And I sort of like that? Don’t judge me.)
Favorite video to date: N.O
Like I said, aside from the anxiety I love the aesthetic.

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Look! It’s everyone’s favorite sub-feature. This week we only have one entry once again.

Visual: the most conventionally (by Korean standards) beautiful slash aesthetically pleasing member of a KPop group. They’re responsible for gaining attention for the group. By being pretty. Jin was actually scouted because of his looks and had to be trained to sing and dance. Though he does both exceptionally well, IMHO. He was even once blew up on social media in Korea because of how good he looked getting out of a car. (I know.)

There’s a reason he’s my daughter’s favorite.

And while it may seem shallow and shitty, remember:
a) not our culture.
b) visuals are so much more than a pretty face.
c) especially Jin.
d) though he is handsome as fuck..

See? (back)

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