Another special already! I’m excited. Are you excited? Because I am so excited!!
You may remember from the Fangirl Follow Along special that BTS puts out an epic level of content. A glorious, wonderous, how can I ever get through this level of content. And today I have two more videos to share. Not “official” videos like N.O yesterday, but (hopefully) still fun none-the-less.
Let’s just jump right into it.
Or not… because while I never thought I’d have to do this with a BTS video, it turns out I was wrong. So here it is, our first CW/TW. It triggered me, and if it triggered me, it is bound to trigger others. But it does get better. Like, so wonderful at the end I just cannot even. That being said, be aware of your triggers and watch accordingly.
CW/TW: The boys follow a woman on the street that they do not know and interact with her. It’s basically one long “what not to do in public” video.
NOW let’s jump right into it.
performed by JHope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook
written by JHope, RM, and Supreme Boi.
October 1, 2013
Apparently, this is a cover of a Mariah Carey song, so I don’t know what the lyrics credits are. Translation? New verses? I have no idea because I am not familiar with the source material.
Right away, I want to note that they don’t start out with the BigHit logo, which was a little disconcerting. I metaphorically tripped over this one.
But just look! Jungkook is three hundred percent adorable, V is enigmatic as always, Jhope is smiling and happy (and we can see the beginning of his notorious cheekbones) and Jimin is…
Well, we’ll talk about that hate later.
(It’s later. Never with leather snapbacks. NEVER.)
Jimin slaps the table (Which I can’t get a shot of because it looks like his hand is just on the table resting) and we cut to
A beautiful woman walking. Okay, I think I can see where we’re going with this…
Okay, I have concerns…
This is not how women want to be treated.
This shit scares women.
Especially when all your friends join you. I’m legit shaking. Excuse me for a minute.
I included the trigger warning at the beginning so I think I’m okay to continue now.
*facepalm* don’t touch people you don’t know. Ever. I don’t like being touched half the time by people I do know. Sometimes I don’t even want my husband touching me…
Props for this “who the fuck are you” expression.
Put upon smile and eye roll. This seriously is a “how not to behave” video.
Because I have to tell you, this woman’s reactions are on point for most women feel when approached by random strangers.
Tired of your bullshit.
“I’m smiling but I secretly want you to die. Please leave me the fuck alone.”
“I am literally brushing you out of my hair. Get the hint.”
And the boys in the background are all “you’re killing it” while she is just… not. Not feeling it. Not at all.
JHope is grabbing V’s manboob, Jimin is coming in his pants, Jungkook thinks he’s killing it, mysterious women (Imma call her Nihee) is pulling a:
I call this expression the “why the fuck is your hand on me?”
She’s smiling here, and I know what men think that means. “She’s into it.”
She’s not. Women smile out of self-preservation because they’re feeling awkward, uncomfortable, enraged, attacked, unsafe, sad, perplexed, and very occasionally happy. It’s just that we’re taught from a young age that we’re not allowed to show any emotion, so we swallow them all back and smile.
She’s plotting your death right now, though, rest assured.
Jimin pushed Jungkook out of the way to take his shot and from Nihee’s expression, you can tell this is not better.
Nihee is also not impressed with the leather snapback.
Another “catch a fucking hint and fuck off” expression from Nihee. Who I’m making up a background story for as we speak.
If Jimin’s hand travels any lower, Nihee will rip his arm off and beat him to death with it. Look at that expression! And since she’s an international assassin, she could do it.
This is one part “look at this picture of me and my girlfriend” and one part “is there anywhere nearby to hide four bodies in broad daylight that I haven’t used lately?”
“Were they still doing construction on that office park, or had they finished?”
“No, wait, that’s where I dumped the heir to that chaebol*…”
“OH SWEET JESUS FUCK, ANOTHER ONE OF YOU?”
“I’m going to kill you in the bathroom of this store…”
“Oh fuck, I actually like this store.”
(Do not think this means she will not kill them. Women can multitask.)
I’m in love with Nihee.
“Oh god, you again.”
I can tell by the way you’re leading her by her wrist that she’s totes into you…
Right before this V was super pumped for his shot, but Nihee just remembered a basement that she can break into and store their dismembered bodies in.
They all take turns tapping her to get her attention. (DO NOT FUCKING TAP ME EVER TO GET MY ATTENTION.)
I told you so.
Nihee pushes V away as JHope realizes they may have misread the situation.
He tries to salvage the situation, but there is no salvaging this shit show.
Brushes her hair out of her face, blows out a breath, and continues on with her life…
While the boys totally miss the point. Congratulations boys.
And Jhope still clearly blames V, which is bullshit. None of them ever had a chance. Not only because they approached her on the street, but because Nihee is an aromantic bisexual who only dates women, demi-women, and femme NBs.
(it’s my backstory, let me dream.)
(Needless to say, Nihee is my bias here.)
Adult Child by Jin, Suga, and RM
October 22, 2013
So, while the youngest members of BTS were busy not learning a valuable lesson, the older members were off doing… this. Whatever this is. I haven’t started the video yet. Hopefully, it includes 100% less stalking.
We’re already off to a better start.
With BTS’s visual
In a school uniform.
He looks sad. Why is Jin sad? Someone translate the song for me so I know!
(there are translated videos I will watch once I’m done, no worries.)
THIS IS BULLSHIT. RM IS WEARING EYELINER HERE AND I CANNOT GET A GOD SHOT OF IT.
As close as I got.
How dare he be so adorable. Where does he get off?
Like, honestly. And being so cute when rapping about something so deep. (I looked up the lyrics and they’re honest and heartfelt and holy fuck this song is about becoming an adult and mandatory military service and college and how there’s all this pressure when you’re really just a child and holy fuck it resonates. This should’ve been a serious track on an album with a full video because everyone needs to be aware of its existence.)
(I’ll stop gushing now and get back to my “in depth” analysis.)
(Which includes one hundred percent less run on sentences.)
(And one hundred percent more talking about the boys being cute.)
RM is notoriously clumsy, so I wonder how many takes this took…
It is impossible to get a good screencap of Suga right here. Because he’s too beautiful? Perhaps. (While I basically love all the boys equally at this point Suga has talked about his struggles with depression, body image issues, and when asked about his ideal girl he used gender-neutral pronouns… so basically I want to adopt him.)
What’s important here, in this blurry image, is that he’s playing basketball. And that’s actually where he got his stage name. Not for Sugar (though he is sweet) but because he was a shooting guard. Shoo-guard, Suga.
My boys are clever. (When they’re not stalking women.)
My possibly queer depressed baby…
I squealed and clapped.
And then the outro which first shows Jin, but this screencap of RM was too good to pass up.
I mean, Jin always looks hot (see) but RM only looks silly and vaguely sexual… well, a lot, but…
I love them. I love them so much.
I also choose to believe this is what happens when the older members just cannot be seen with the younger anymore in public. “Remember when they tried to pick up the international assassin and almost got killed? Do you remember?”
SEE! That’s even Jin’s put out face. Clearly, this is headcanon confirmation.
And that’s how the video ends. With me loving the hyung line even more and my headcanon confirmed. Join me next Saturday as I break down Boy in Luv.
And you didn’t think there would be any new lingo today. For shame.
Chaebol: a large industrial conglomerate that is run and controlled by an owner or family in South Korea.(back)