Fangirl Follow Along time, but this time there are some things you need to know. So allow me to set the stage for you so you know what you’re getting into.
It’s a Thursday night. I’ve already put my child to bed. I’m watching Overwatch League alone, because my cat has abandoned me and, oh yeah, my husband has barely been home in a week. His mother is in hospice, her health is declining. His father can’t be left alone.
Normally this is where I’d turn to BTS, but the last two recaps I’ve done are for a song that had physical abuse in the MV (Boy In Luv and it’s dance version.) And there are four versions of this week’s video.
I crack open a bottle of wine and channel my inner Kuzco.
(I end up breaking down all four versions… it’s gonna be a long and bumpy ride.)
The big hit logo, and I wonder if I should’ve had more wine…
And it’s the song that plays at the beginning of the Boy in Luv video. I… uh… I need to go top off my mug.
You think you can just look all cute and despondent? I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!
…this additional wine might have been a mistake…
Wait… is Suga wearing a white snapback backwards? Oh no. I really should not have indulged. Be prepared for feels.
(while I was looking for this gif, I found this image and went “GOD DAMN HIS CHEEKBONES. THIS IS NOT OKAY. I AM NOT OKAY.)
If this doesn’t end with hypocrisy and objectification, you owe me your left shoe. (ASMR reference. Click here for context.)
Topping off my mug was a huge mistake.
Fuck. Fuck everything. I’m topping off the mug again. Suga is rapping. Kookie is looking soft. I just… There is no defense for this.
Wait… is he rapping to Kookie? Is Kookie winking? Head cannon time, y’all.
Oh, someone save me. (I need your love before I fall.)
Suga looking soft now. And if you pause here and freeze frame through you can watch his tongue move. Which I’m drunk enough to notice but not drunk enough to expound on.
No, please. Not epic lighting. This video is my kryptonite. This video is to make up for putting their hands on that woman. And it’s working.
I apologize to Jimin for this screencap but look at Suga and JHope. Look. Look at them as they move. Even paused, you can sense the movement. Sultry and predatory and… maybe I should just finish the bottle…
Not the cap I was trying for… but I need to laugh at Jimin grabbing his own chest to get over my lust for… wait… is that Suga’s tongue…?
I was making a point. I think. Or maybe not. I don’t remember now.
(And more JHope looking like sin…)
How fucking dare you even look good in a denim jacket.
*there were some screens that should go here of the smoothest fucking moves I’ve ever seen… but I am too buzzed to get them in focus*
Shadow butterfly? So soft. Can’t handle…
I shouldn’t love this video this much. I don’t even like this song that much. It’s like a 90s ballad. And not even a super good one at that. This makes no sense.
It’s really an exceptional video.
Jimin lookin’ cute AF to make up for those earlier screencaps.
Nodding in unison. If they asked me anything at this point, I would just nod along with them…
Leaning against the wall at an upward angle. Is this video subliminally sexy by accident our on purpose?
This entire video has been me saying “fuuuuuck” and “how dare you?”
Those dimples are registered as lethal weapons in seven countries.
Ah. So they know exactly what they’re doing.
What the fuck, V? Did you just body roll from sitting to standing?
Wait. Just wait. I need to get ice water and black coffee to sober my buzzed ass up.
(I also got more wine. Best to cover my bases.)
More epic lighting so that I can get an aesthetics boner.
Seriously. I’m going to embarrass myself.
In my pants. “Like a teenager,” or whatever it is that qualifier is.
Jungkook here makes me worried.
Oh, it cut away without him moving. I was worried for nothing. I really thought–
YOU SNUCK IN SMUG SEXY RM. YOU FUCKING MONSTERS.
Oh V. My adorable little alien angel.
What am I going to do with you?
Jungkook and V are giving strong “trust us, we’re adorable little babies” vibes while Jimin and JHope are giving proof to that lie. Right there.
It’s so smooth.
There’s a dance version of this. I’m not sure I’m going to make it through that one.
Or the facial expression version.
Yeah, JHope. We know you’re going to be a problem for me. Everyone knows I adore you.
Oh god, I love this video.
It’s fun and cute and everything I needed today.
and some things I didn’t. Like…
Jhope continuing to ruin me.
Just all day.
(I watched a video that listed Suga as the bias ruiner of this video, and whoever thinks so wasn’t watching JHope.
Even rocking this 80s lesbian aesthetic.
They list V as second place bias ruiner. And I argue that it’s his earing in this shot.
Sort of shitty effects, but I appreciate what they’re going for here.
OH GOD, I JUST REALIZED JIN HASN’T SUNG YET.
There it is.
I just want you to know I had grabbed ice cream, wine (a new bottle), hot chocolate, popcorn, and a box of tissues to go comfort sad!jin before I realized this was from nearly four years ago.
And just a music video.
I see it now. (The bias ruining. When I reread through this post for drunk grammar I was even confused by the “i see dis” I had originally typed.)
But, I mean, still JHope…
Beautiful fucked up fingers.
But just 45 more seconds. I only have to withstand this assault for 45 more seconds.
Welp… make sure my tombstone says “she died doing what she loved.”
Kpopin’ and lockin’ (what I loved. V isn’t. He’s just… never mind this whole line was a mistake.)
I’ve only made it seven seconds. And trust me, there were more screencaps I could’ve taken. Instead, just settle for this one with Suga looking charming even while manspreading.
Is that even legal?
Perhaps not illegal. But totally immoral.
Why you gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too?
I was going to screencap bunny!kookie but there was an actual glint in his eyes. A.Literal.Glint.
And we’re done…
Oh… that was rough.
*drinks more wine*
Let me go right into the next video.
(I make poor life choices.)
THE DANCE VERSION!
So right away we have RM in the back and this is where he started being adorable last time around, but it’s a wider angle so we see no winks.
So… I just watched the MV straight through without pausing before starting this one and it’s really distracting that it’s not cutting here.
Just, you know, so you know…
Sleepy bunny Kookie. But again, at a wider angle. So fingers crossed I will survive.
Suga rapping, Jungkook snapping, Jimin sleeping, Jin wondering how he got here…
The moment Jungkook discovered his jung…kook.
It’s hard to look tough while rapping in a chair, but Suga manages. He also looks absurd, but… it’s a tough/absurd combo.
(V sneering kills me.)
The boys take a deep breath.
And now I’m the one who needs to…
(somehow this whole video manages to be pure and naughty all at once.)
JHope’s smile, though.
The choreography is astounding. It offends me.
I tried to take his hand. Not even gonna lie.
They’re so fucking adorable.
It physically hurts me.
I forgot about the nods.
You know… if South Korea weaponizes BTS we’re all fucked. Also, I’m defecting.
V still gets to stand on a chair.
And they’re still using shadows against me.
You know, I was considering screen capping all four videos for this song in one night, but I don’t think I have the capacity for it…
(Spoiler alert: I did. But only because I’m even more stubborn when drunk. Which I was. I can tell by how my mouth felt this morning.)
Nope. Soft angel baby. I’m done.
I mean, I’ll make it through this dance video, but with V’s body roll to standing I just… cannot.
I think I’m screen capping the same bits…
Because I’m super vulnerable to the same things over and over.
I build no defenses. Lure me in once, shame on you. Lure me in twice… and know that it’ll work over and over. I never learn from my mistakes.
Also, Jin is wearing a rosary.
Huh… it was much easier to make it through the dance version. I should probably try the facial expression one.
(aka I have no sense of self-preservation.)
So… FACIAL *gigglesnort* EXPRESSION VERSION.
Blurry squinting RM. This was a mistake.
Blurry Jung “To The Pure All Things Are Pure” Kook
Did I not notice the eyeliner, or did I forget the eyeliner?
Suga looking soft.
AH-HA! RIGHT THERE. JIN BLINKED!
Yeah, even now I don’t understand why that was crucial…
(that was typed as I was screencapping. I had this whole “AH-HA! SEE, RIGHT THERE. THERE WAS NOT TACK, HE MOVED, AND THERE WAS A TACK!” moment, typed it out, and went “wait, why does this matter?”)
Pastel sweater, gold chain, snapback, and nervous expression. I literally have no fucking idea.
It’s like a jump scare, but instead of being scary as fuck out of nowhere it’s sexy as fuck.
Out of nowhere.
I feel very attacked.
I can’t see his facial expressions here. Just saying.
I mean, I can imagine them… and what is causing them… but I can’t…
You know what? Let’s move on.
Tactical error on my part.
Why did I think this was a good idea? It’s 11:30 pm on a Thursday. I won’t be home tomorrow night to format this into something that makes sense.
And BTS keeps alternating between sex faces.
looking like adorable little smoosh babies.
and dance sequences in shadows (not facial expressions, again…) where Jimin is doing ballet moves and you can see his body through his shirt.
My psyche cannot handle this.
I’m going to need therapy.
See? Adorable again. Face like an angel, body like sin.
RM making shifty look stunning.
V almost getting to rap.
I need an adult.
Don’t send JHope. Or do. I don’t even know anymore.
Damn boy, are you part dragon? because you spit fire…
Is something I will never say to RM, because he speaks English, but I’m thinking it.
I’m thinking it hard.
There was a series of escalating micro aggressions until BAM! Jhope dancing with a hat. I have a weakness. And this is it.
dress shirt, douche hat, dramatic lighting.
(actually… remind me sometime to tell you about my crush on Jack Frost.)
And now we have to watch the heavens cast their golden light on his angelic cheekbones.
See? You see this impure hidden in pure imagery bullshit?
HE’S EVEN WEARING A SHIRT WITH UNICORNS ON IT!
(which I just noticed. Third video in.)
Obligatory Jin holding rose wearing cross screencap.
Everyone bites there lip fourteen more times (which I did not screencap for the sake of my sanity) and finally!
The shadow outro which brings us too…
THE ONE TAKE VERSION!
(I regret all my life choices.)
Much like the dance version, we start much further out so hopefully, I will survive this.
We keep zooming in and out. I’m worried I might get seasick.
Thank god… Jungkook body rolls to standing as well but it’s only in the wide angle take that we see it.
I might have combusted otherwise.
also… just want to say that after all the impurity of the other three versions… this one is just sweet. I like it. It’s like a palate cleanser so I don’t have naughty dreams.
(Zombie naughty dreams, because I always dream about horror shit too.)
(FYI: I dreamt that I went on an epic quest in a dystopian apocolypse with a guy I went to school with from Kindergarten through graduation. I guess we were the only two people left alive.)
Also, their grey slacks look like sweats here.
Finally (sort of) caught this move. I really do love this choreography.
V standing on chair = critical.
I did wonder how they would handle Jin standing on a chair. Which is also critical. Apparently, it’s by moving the chairs while JHope raps.
Wait… where was he hiding the rose?
Hiding the two worst dancers behind the best dancer…
(Though they do trust Jin and RM to nod…)
Even more impressive… they move the chairs back in a second with me barely noticing.
And I was watching for it…
And there it is. Just One Day. In all it’s multi-version glory. But now it’s Friday morning… so I’ll be back to wrap up later.
Okay, I’ve slept, sobered up, and proofread and now we’re going to recap Just One Day.
Just One Day by BTS
Released: April 2, 2014
Album: Skool Luv Affair
Notes: IT’S A 90S POP BALLAD!
Watched Status: Previously unwatched
Bias: JHope. Maybe Jin with the Rose. Or soft Suga. Perhaps smug/sexy RM. Okay, it’s the hyung line… there. I picked one. The hyung line.
Reason: Cheekbones, crooked fingers, soft, and smug. In that order.
I just… I love them all…
Favorite video to date: Just One Day (the MV version.)
(edit: ah, so this is where I changed when I do the “join me next time” bit)
Join me next time when I review… *checks the list* *frowns because I have to fix all the dates* *leaves that problem for future Ginny* No More Dream.
Oh, the Japanese version. But does this mean the return of the demon bus? Only time will tell.