I am pregaming my Fangirl Follow Along this week. That’s right, folks. It is not Friday night as I type this. I am not doing this on my lunch break the day before. It’s not even Thursday or Wednesday or…
It’s Saturday. THE WEEK BEFORE.
Are you proud of me? I am so fucking proud of me.
Previously on Fangirl Follow Along (last week for you, earlier today for me,) we covered the Danger Mo-Blue remix and War of Hormone, Halloween Version.
Today, I NEED U.
The Big Hit logo, which I’ve paired with a lovely Pink Moscato.
Oh, it’s this song. And he’s sitting on a bed. Let me just finish this glass real quick and pour myself another.
(Honestly, I hit pause as a defensive twitch. The same way I throw a grenade while playing Junkrat in deathmatch. Same survival instinct.)
It’s almost insulting how pretty he is.
Thr problem with watching these on a Saturday is that I don’t have to get up in the morning. So expect me to be fucking hammered by the end of this video.
(I’m also watching the Florida Mayhem pick up their second win of the season against the Dallas Fuel. The one with the two homophobic members… It’s been an emotional night.)
I … don’t fully understand what’s happening.
Maybe drinking so much was a bad plan.
Sad Jimin and Jungkook. Why? WHY?
Sad Suga with a lighter. And not only is his hair not horrible… it’s also pink.
eep.
Oh. My.
He’s basically my high school weakness. He’s my husband if my husband had pink hair.
It’s not… it’s not fair.
Well, hope you’re prepared for a long post and a lot of drunken rambling. Around the two minutes fifty seconds mark I suspect I’ll be telling you I love you.
NO! Not sad J-Hope. No.
I am right there with you. YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME.
Okay, I don’t get that quote… but J-Hope looks rough and I am not happy about it.
Honestly, at this point, it’s like watching a KDrama and being worried that they’re about to kill off my favorite character.
(Yes, I get invested in fictional characters… shush.)
Wait. Back up a second. Why is Jin in a ruffled shirt and bike shorts?
I mean, I’m here for it, but still.
V still looks tough.
So cute.
Fucking Lumberjack RM. Are you kidding me?
Living the hobo life.
Is so pure. And so sad.
So sad and pure.
I should note here that fucked up shit happened last night. I sobered up real fucking fast to deal with that (until two in the fucking morning, that’s shit causer) and obviously put finishing this breakdown on hold. Now it’s nine in the morning and I’m no longer drunk, but I’m also not awake. So… basically the same.
I don’t know what we did as a species to deserve their MVs, but it must’ve been good.
(Oh, right. It was before Trump was elected…)
It’s just …
Constant fucking pretty.
Just great camera angles, on point lighting. It’s basically that perfect shot in photography, but all the time.
RM has rolled cuffs. I’m getting ice cream for breakfast.
Fan theory: Jimin is standing on the tracks to be the tallest (instead of the smollest). Jungkook’s slightly shook expression is as he says “how did you get so tall, hyung” and that is why RM is laughing.
Hard. Laughing hard.
Why is there always a hooded stranger aggressively shoulder checking our emotionally vulnerable protagonist?
OH! pretty fire.
I am willing to admit I have no idea what the common thread here is. What the story progression should be. But it’s pretty so I’m going with it.
RM still doesn’t know what to do with appendages when not rapping.
Is this how you human?
Nailed it!
(Smiling Suga gives me LIFE)
Huh. Nice stems.
Okay, moving on.
Everyone is happy again.
Yay! RM is rapping so he can human again.
Car door guy.
K. Well.
Let’s pretend this never happened.
Shockingly, this is not that much better.
I try to explain it all the time. It’s not even a sexual thing. Not really. It’s just the way my mind works. Despite not being able to produce visual art, I just really fucking like the way things look. I like lighting and angles and the lines of people’s bodies and the potential.
RM has a fuck ton of potential.
It is currently 10:40 on a Sunday morning. I just had ice cream for breakfast. My daughter is still sleeping. My husband is awake without a fight.
And I’m sad.
Because of J-Hope’s face here.
That is so V.
*squee* he hits a Redbull can and sends it flying! Did I mention the person who caused the upheaval drinks Redbull? This is symbolic for me right now.
Jimin being absurd and wonderful against city lights. More importantly… happy Hope.
How you can tell you’re old:
Witness kids doing something you yourself have done before
Question the safety of said activity.
“OH, I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD IDEAHHHHHHH I’M OLD.”
But they high five, so we’ll ignore my crisis and focus on their bromance. And that it’s RM. So he can human, evidently.
Or not.
Because he’s a wizard who starts fires to frighten and impress his human friends.
I really lost the storyline hours ago and I’m just winging it now.
Again, I need to write something about the male gaze versus the female gaze… but it comes more into play during Blood, Sweat, and Tears so I’ll leave it for then and here just say “aww, what good friends they are. And props for them discarding toxic masculinity to show physical affection with one another.”
…and not push my queer agenda with the reminder that Suga constantly talks about his tongue technology (probably meaning his raps) working on men and women.
To the pure all things are pure.
To the queer, all things are queer.
JFC.
And now Sad Jin. Why, this video? Why??
I still have questions.
(Ginny’s note: It is now Wednesday. This week really fucking got away from me, what with the emotional bullshit, my personal computer failing, and then a snowstorm. Just… fuck this week. But not the point. Why is Jimin in the bathtub with a shirt on?)
SETTING A PICTURE ON FIRE!
Jimin. Baby. My mochi mini. My chim chiminey…
No.
Just.
This is not safe.
Still not safe. Not the intended use of a bathtub…
Christ. Warn a girl before you switch to despondent looking chapped lipped Jungkook.
Oh, drop of water. I feel you. I feel you down to the tips of my toes.
Oh, so we’re back to lost boys. Okay.
Wait. This is important. I would like to personally thank Suga and his stylist for making up because the look in this video is worlds better than the last one. LOOK AT HIM! Soft pink hair that’s grown out and flattering. White shirt, normal jacket, a couple of necklaces that are really drawing the eye. It’s just. It’s just wonderful.
I’m crying softly over how happy it makes me.
Why didn’t I notice V’s rolled cuffs before? I’m slipping. Only explanation.
Adore the lighting.
Like it’s just… slaying me here. It’s slaying me.
Don’t use V against me like this.
or Suga.
I could get lost in this aesthetic. Soft pink hair, soft white shirt, ripped blue jeans on Suga. An obviously run-down building with messy white sheets and comforter and soft lamp. Suga throws himself back across the bed and raises pale, thin arm to cover his face.
It’s…
Brilliant.
But seriously, stop using Suga against me like this. And adding to his vampire aesthetic.
Oh shit.
By the way, I have emotional whiplash from soft Suga to the impending violence.
Seriously?
Will I ever be on even footing again?
lolnope.
Listen, I appreciate the artistry of this clearly unsafe act, but for realz…
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE GIRL AND HER FATHER OR LOVER OR WHOEVER HE WAS?
Did you just… did you just Pink Suga me? Do you think that’s going to work?
Because it totally will…
I mean, not if you keep cutting to V after he killed a guy…
Yeah, no. I’m not falling for this again. V probably killed some guy.
Kookie is about to be hit by a car.
Suga is beautiful…
Wait, where was I going with this?
That is not how you dispose of old medication, J-Hope.
Don’t you drop that lollipop RM. That’s littering and it comes with a fine. You’re the role model for the entire–
Motherfucker.
And back to pretty boys being pretty. Fine.
In black and white.
Because why not?
But at least J-Hope looks happy. I mean, you can tell he’s faking being asleep since it’s the same face my kid makes, but still…
Jimin’s lower lip. Just. Damn.
Not his best angle. (But his lower lip as well, though. Damn.)
So this is it, right?
Them all sleeping in slightly different poses now. On the run. Because V killed his girlfriend’s dad.
Listen, this is the only common thread I could find to string together despondency and artistic beauty. So it’s what you’re getting for my interpretation of the message behind the video.
That and Suga in a crappy hotel room is bad for my blood pressure.
I NEED U by BTS
Released: April 24, 2015
Album: The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 1
Length: 3:39
Notes: did V kill a guy with a trident?
Watched Status: Previously unwatched
Bias: Suga’s stylist.
Reason: Go back and watch Danger and then watch this and tell me that Suga’s stylist isn’t your hero.
Favorite video to date: The Halloween one.
Join me next time when we have I NEED U, THE ORIGINAL VERSION.
…wait…
…the fuck?
(edit: It’s a whole thing. So actually, I did a special for HYYH)
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Ginny Lurcock 