This is it. The last part of our first special event.
And now, the end is near. And so we face the final curtain.
Wait…
Listen, I’m feeling feelings here, so let’s just previously on and warn about triggers before getting to the fucking video, okay?
Previously on Fangirl Follow Along we’ve had the first four parts of this multi-post event. The intro, I NEED U, prologue, and Run.
Now, we finish it.
All previous trigger warnings still apply. You’ve been warned.
(Hey guys, it’s me! You’re friendly, neighborhood trigger warning. The following video contains graphic violence, depression, suicide, underage drinking, and is basically as heavy as fuck. Don’t watch if you’re in a vulnerable place.)
Before we start, this is actually week sixteen. The BTS spreadsheet I fixed was not saved when my computer crashed.
*grumble*
But the computer is back and my spreadsheet is fixed and!!
We’ve got a Big Hit Logo.
I am full of hope for this video and for–
Yeah, that.
Do kids even understand shitty VHS tapes?
…fuck. Taehyung is in jail. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!
Oh…kay.
I don’t know what’s happening, but I have a feeling it’s going to feature in my zombie nightmares from now on.
More birds. I should’ve paid more attention to their symbolism in college.
If I’d gone to college.
Wait, do kids even know what negatives are?
I mean, they’re missing out if they don’t, but…
Oh shit. Walking. This is serious now. (Is that RM? It looks like RM…)
Is this American Beauty?
OH!
I like this. It feels desolate and hopeless.
And that is Jin. But I swear earlier it was RM…
*blinks*
And now things get serious. Now I start to understand what everything has been about. This trilogy allegedly takes place in Jin’s head. It’s supposedly about growing up and losing the pieces of yourself that are tied to youth.
Every member represented something. A feeling. An emotion. Something lost in this period of transition.
But I wonder if it also relates to existing as an idol. The entire time I’ve followed BTS I’ve worried about them. Their lives are regimented in ways American pop star’s lives are not. Idols are basically owned by the companies they sign with until they repay the initial investment.
And if you sign your life over to the wrong company…
*shudder*
Not to mention that while idols generally choose this path for themselves, you can’t fully understand the commitment you’re making as basically a child. I mean, I thought I knew what it would be like to become a parent and I was wrong.
What’s to say it’s not the same for idols?
BTS has achieved heights unparalleled in the KPop world. They’re internationally known and have a lot of control over their own art. They genuinely seem to love each other. Big Hit doesn’t seem to be a sack of demons masquerading as an entertainment company.
But I still wonder.
I still wonder if they’re honestly happy. If I’m consuming a product that has too high a cost. If, with this series, I’m adding to the problem.
Are the members of BTS truly happy?
And I don’t know. I can’t know. But what I do know is that Suga and RM have both stated that their next album will be exploring happiness. What it means to be happy. How to become happy. And how, as a species, we rarely allow ourselves to be happy. Even when we achieve what we think might make us happy, we just start looking towards the next thing. The next task. The next goal. The next horizon.
Which just hits really close to home right now, you know?
While I have my existential crisis, enjoy the following screencaps with limited commentary.
I really love hands.
I think it’s impossible for Jungkook to not be adorable.
fuck me, Jimin’s lips.
V makes me feel things with the smallest expression. He’s a master.
Fuck, we left Neverland only to stumble into Wonderland.
And that’s it. We’re done.
I’m not quite sure how I feel about it if I’m perfectly honest. I’ve been analyzing this trilogy for the better part of two weeks and I’m not even sure where to say my head is at.
For starters, I don’t think I’ll ever recover from the image of V covered in blood. Or Jimin crying alone in a tub. J-Hope collapsing. Jungkook’s eyes as the car pulled up. Suga. On fire.
At the end of the day, all I can say is that this moved me more than music videos have before. Ever. It moved me in the same way a good angsty book does. I just need to go feel things for a bit…
EPILOGUE: Young Forever by BTS
Released: April 18, 2016
Album: The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 1
Length: 3:25
Notes: basically American Beauty
Watched Status: Previously unwatched
Bias: Jimin
Reason: dem lips
Favorite video to date: This whole series. Just… I need some time before I watch it again.
Join me next week when I watch FOR YOU. Which I can hopefully just enjoy without feeling wrecked.
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Ginny Lurcock 