It’s here. It’s live. It’s Love Yourself: Tear and FAKE LOVE.

So previously we did some things and tomorrow we’re doing other things but Today. TODAY. Today we have FAKE LOVE.

I should warn you, for the first time I took all the screencaps first and wrote the text around them later. This should be a fun and interesting experience…

OKAY NOW! We have FAKE LOVE.

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Big Hit. Big Hit. Big Hit.

Beauty and The Beast rose acquired.

Pretty Jin. He ruins me. He ruins my bias. I’m here for it.

Natural Look Jungkook who looks… strange. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Either blank, or shook, or slightly shiny like he might be wet. We’ll see how this unfolds…

Oh. This is new. I like this.

So one of my favorite parts of John Wick 2 was that many of the scenes took place in front of fantastic art. So this dance sequence in front of this really incredible 3D art just… moves me.

(Also, fan theory #1: They never left the museum in Blood, Sweat, and Tears.)

Is V wearing a harness? In front of the statue/painting. While brushing his mouth.

Oh.

Yeah.

This is gonna be a rough video.

Bias ruiner Jin continuing to ruin biases.

Sad natural look Jungkook continuing to look as if he’s sweating.

Interspersed with dance sequences where he’s wearing this fucking shiny red coat. Won’t BTS have mercy?

I screamed so loud I broke the windows. My bad…

(Just realized something that happens in the video relates back to this. So… this is important later.)

PROTECT THE ENCHANTED FLOWER!

It’s the only way we can turn back into a beauty…

Wait…

Is this beastly Jin? Because I have questions if that’s the case.

BTS is not cutting me any slack, FYI. Here’s vampire RM, clearly taken in a vampire rave. Because my heart needed me to have THAT mental image.

I know how you feel, vampire RM.

J-Hope is locked alone in a room. (Protective Instincts Increasing.)

Unf. I love when he stands like this. His casual rapper stance.

Just…

Just give me a minute…

Go watch John Wick 2 or something.

Okay, I’m good. We can–

Oh sweet fuck, his pants.

One more minute, please.

Not a single break in this video… it’s ruthless.

Brutal.

And I can’t even get a good screencap of Jimin dancing (up to this point in the video). And he’s moving… I mean, his dancing… It’s… I don’t have words.

Fuck me, he’s pretty.

And sad. In the expressionist painting of the vampire rave that RM is at.

The texture of the scenery when they’re alone looks like an oil painting. It thrills me.

And with colored contacts. Just. They’re playing dirty.

But I guess all is fair in (fake) love and war.

Jungkook is, for reasons unknown, looking into a light square on the floor.

(I know now, but I didn’t at the time. I also didn’t realize when it was cutting between him and Jin that it was related until just now.)

Wait.

Is Jungkook spying on the other members when they’re alone?

I mean… creepy…

(and he was spying on Jin. Did he cause the explosion? DID HE?)

Thighs.

I mean… what?

(and I think this means he did, somehow, cause the explosion. And also, that I want a pair of the paint splatter leggings.)

(We can have couple’s leggings. It’ll be awesome.)

Now what is our demon of fake love (which is what I just now decided Jungkook is) going to do?

Make a tiger face. (I’m giggling now, but this was the best screencap I could get and it took fifteen minutes to do so. Or, like, one. It’s hard to tell now. I was doing this at 5 a.m. EST)

A bit better… not really, but RM looks amazing in the background so I’ll take it.

Fake Love Demon Jeon Jungkook runs into wall. News at 11.

Goddamn, boys looking at phones. Wait. That’s in a post that I scheduled for Sunday.

…

Forget I said anything.

Look at V’s hair instead. The lighting makes me want to touch it.

(I should point out I would not touch any stranger, BTS or no. And I wouldn’t get couple’s leggings with a guy I don’t know. I’m crazy, but I’m not a crazed fangirl or a stalker. This is just for funsies. Let me live.)

I’m weak to V at all times. But soulful staring V breaks me.

…The floor is literally falling out from under Jungkook and now I feel sort of bad for implying he’s a demon of fake love (and the cocaine scene) and causing all the bad that happens in this impressionist vampire rave world.

Just look at how upset he is!

I’m not sure that’s covered under your phone’s protection plan, V.

Look! I didn’t capture Jimin well. Again.

But we’re back to vampire RM.

With stunning lighting.

NO! Don’t you do it Jungkook. Don’t you hurt my vampire RM.

Do not.

NO!!!!

Wait.

Jin’s home had its walls blown in and its enchanted flower turned to sand. (I didn’t capture that in a screencap, but it’s what happened.) V’s phone turned to sand. And RM? He lost his fancy hair and makeup and gained an animal print jacket?

Seems fair…

Suga and his piano. The greatest love story of our time.

Goddamn. Just. God. Damn.

Use this as my obituary. It’ll explain itself.

(He’s so pretty it killed me.)

So pretty.

Just oodles of pretty.

I can’t even handle it.

Okay, a couple of things.

A: are they being sponsored by Snickers?
B: Wasting food while people are starving makes me feel guilty.
C: Do you notice that on some bars the blue Snickers logo looks yellow? Enjoy that argument again.
D: If he’s eaten by Snickers I shall be very put out.

What did I just say?

Why are some red? Is that blood? Is that blood on the Snickers?

I’m serious Jungkook. Back the fuck off.

Okay. So it turns out he’s not currently spying on J-Hope. But in case you were wondering…

*takes a sip of water*

*clears throat*

THIS IS NOT BETTER.

Don’t try to placate me with walking sex Jimin. I am not so easily swayed!

I actually might have been, but there was only a short snippet of Jimin here.

Before the fire started.

Because I’ve somehow recovered from seeing Suga surrounded by fire despite the fact that I will never recover from Suga being consumed by the flames.

(in case you needed a visual reminder…)

Dance break!

Goddamn, Jin.

So pretty…

Wait. Is that a boarded up fireplace?

In a room with a man who constently ends up on fire.

What could go wrong?

(Please hold for a meaningful sequence with a sink)

Jimin turns off the sink.

The water drains.

Fake Love Demon Jungkook is in an underground fake love aqueduct.

He looks pretty…

Jin’s enchanted flower container is in a pile of sand (flower and phone, my guess.)

Jungkook picks up sand and lets it fall through his fingers.

It changes into flower petals. (Jin will never be pretty, which still does not check out.)

The light shines on our demon of (Fake) love (and the cocaine scene).

And the water…

…parts for him.

Where did it go? I’m glad you asked…

It went to Jimin.

Who will probably drown.

While Suga burns.

Jimin drowns.

So, in summary…

J-Hope is sad on snickers.

Jungkook looks hot.

Jimin drowns.

Suga burns.

My obituary.

And I still can’t get a good still of Jimin dancing.

But hey!

I did get Jin!

(It took four tries. I kept just watching the sequence instead of pausing it.)

GUYS! GUYS I GOT IT. I GOT JIMIN DANCING. AND LOOKING FINE. BETWEEN TWO ARMS. IT’S THE BEST STILL I’VE EVER TAKEN.

I’m going to get myself a candy bar to celebrate.

I don’t know why, but for some reason, I’m craving snickers.

…oh right, there’s more video.

V.

Is looking amazing.

…come on. You already turned his phone to sand. Do you have to do this to me now?

Okay. Fine. You just made him look at a sign that says “save me” (sort of) but you’re still on notice, Kookie.

Oh. Wait. This still. I love this sequence so hard.

It’s kind of making me tear up, actually.

Every so often I forget why people call Jungkook a muscle pig. And then I catch a glimpse of how broad he is. And just. Goddamn.

(I’m not telling you why I got this image.)

(But it’s totally for J-Hope’s ass.)

(Don’t tell.)

*growls*

But it’s okay. I can ignore the masked figure in favor of more silhouetted hand holding against sculpture.

God damn.

And we fade to black.

And that’s our comeback video for the first single for the new album.

And I cannot wait to see how the rest of this concept plays out. It’s gonna be amazing.

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FAKE LOVE by BTS
Released: Today! May 18, 2018
Album: Love Yourself: Tear
Length: 5:18
Notes: I lost an entire morning, but gained so many wonderful images.
Watched Status: Previously unwatched
Bias: Suga
Reason: Oh honey. Honey!
Favorite video to date: Fake Love

Join me tomorrow when I get back to my regular schedule and break down I NEED U. Japanese version.

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